Wednesday, January 5, 2011

What if?

What if? 

I've been thinking a lot lately about those 2 words. What if?

What if I had not adopted? 

What if I had not followed my heart? What if I had no faith? What if I had not listened to the Lord's calling in my heart? 

As a single school teacher, I am definetly not financially rich by any means. However, my first few years teaching I loved to spend money on "things"....especially purses. Hmmmm-I remember these days and kind of chuckle at myself...

I guess I could have saved money over the years and maybe had one of these:

Or maybe even one of these: (well probably not, but you get the idea)

But thankfully the Lord called me in a different direction. I felt the calling to adopt and my life has become amazingly rich!! 

What if I had said "No" to this precious 3 pound 5 oz. gift from God? (She was always my Janie from the beginning)

Janie brought an entirely new dimension to my life. Becoming her mommy was the most wonderful experience I could ever imagine.

But wait, God was not finished. 

What if I had said "No" to this second gift from God? Another 3 pound 8 oz. miracle who was always meant to be my Lexie.

HIS plan was only beginning! He later brought Lexie into my life. Becoming her mommy leaves me speechless. I sit in awe at these amazing sisters.


I only thought my life was full with Janie--but now with Lexie too--it is so complete. 

I think of that silly Tom Cruise line "You complete me". You know, the one he says to the girl in the movie "Jerry Maquire" (I think that is the one). Well, that is how I feel about Janie and Lexie. THEY COMPLETE ME. These girls make me a better person. 

So, again I am left to wonder "What if"

  • What if I had become obsessed with "things"?
  • What if I had not listened to my heart?
  • What if I had not listened to the calling?
  • What if I had been afraid?
  • What if I had not had faith to join a new pilot program with my agency?
  • What if I had not accepted Janie's referral simply b/c she was a preemie with possible health issues?
  • What if I had not accepted Lexie because I was afraid of being a mommy to two babies less than a year apart in age?
  • What if I had listened to the people who cautioned me about adopting a second baby so soon?
  • What if I had belived thier arguements about money, time, etc?
  • What if I had let some people's negative comments persuade me?
  • What if I didn't follow the Lord's path for me?

I don't want to think of the answers to any of the above. Why? Well because it would mean that I would miss out on these wonderful moments:

Looking foward to many more of these in the future. 

My girls complete me. 

They are the sunshine of my life!


  1. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! I am so thankful for such beautiful words, thoughts, and heart to follow the Lords plan even when it doesn't make
    "worldly sense"!! I can't imagine my crazy, loud, messy life any other way
    than filled with such beautiful children. Thank you for sharing this. :)
    Your girls are absolutely gorgeous, and I, for one, am so thankful that
    you were willing to step out in faith and allow them to be together with
    such a precious mommy!! :)

  2. Great post! They are such beautiful girls and you are very lucky!

  3. I never would have imagined anyone having negative comments for you. Just knowing you and your energy and desire to have a family, why not? When you told me about Lexie I was about as excited as you! I know there's always the chance something might fall through and financial strains, but that doesn't outweigh getting that other precious little girl. Good for you for doing what you think is right and ignoring the negative around you.

  4. Beautiful posts and beautiful girls!!

    Much love,
    Future Mama